Domestically Challenged

GCC author Natalie R Collins

I am going to begin this by saying if you haven't read Wives and Sisters by Natalie R Collins yet, go out and get it, then place it on TOP of the "To Be Read" pile. It's that good.

Nevermind that Natalie is totally funny (as evidenced by her intveriew with me and Paula over at Mom Writers Talk Radio), really gutsy (as evidenced by her highly controversial blog Trapped By The Mormons), and a wonderfully talented writer (as evidenced by the book) - she even has a totally wicked cool trailer for her book at her site - http://www.nataliercollins.com/. Go ahead - go look at it. I'll wait......

Pretty neat, wouldn't you say? This book was actually my first ever autographed copy of a book, and of course I am now hooked on trying to snag signed book copies. Here's the low down on the book:

Synopsis:

Set in the closed world of the Mormon Church, a world scrutinized because of the Elizabeth Smart case and covered in nonfiction bestsellers like Secret Ceremonies and Under the Banner of Heaven, and the new HBO show, BIG LOVE, WIVES AND SISTERS is the gripping story of a young woman on the run from evil, powerful men. Receiving phenomenal media coverage and reviews, Collins’s WIVES AND SISTERS portrays a world eerily similar to that of killer Mark Hacking, who killed his pregnant wife Lori.  The parallels between the deception Mark Hacking built around his education and the lies perpetrated by the character Mark in WIVES AND SISTERS are uncanny, right down to the same first name.

WIVES AND SISTERS opens with a look back at the sudden disappearance of Allison Jensen’s best friend, who was kidnapped while playing in the woods near home.  One moment her friend was beside her; then she was gone. When no leads emerged, she was given up for dead.  Now, years later, trying to fill in the gaps of a patchwork memory, Allison still gets no answers from the Mormon community in which she lives.  She is stuck in a world where she does not fit with a father who tyrannizes and torments heras the self-appointed messenger of God.  Why is she being fed half-truths?  When a brutal attack makes her desperate to escape Mormon bonds, Allison finds herself on a collision course with community leaders as they cover up the steps of a sexual predator. 

Like Mark Hacking, Collins’ character Mark Peterson is trying to live a life of impeccable standards, dictated by Mormon tenets, and when he fails, the consequences are deadly, as he will do almost anything to protect his standing in the community of Saints. Allison is determined to bring Mark and those who didn’t stop him to justice, before they stop her from piecing together the tragic past that has haunted her for so many years. 

As a former member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and lifelong resident of Utah, Natalie R. Collins brings authentic color and voice to Allison.  In her extensive research of the history and teachings of Mormonism, she has discovered that it is a very large organization with a violent and colorful past.  WIVES AND SISTERS is a story familiar to many young men and women raised inside the strictures of fundamental religions.  Many times there is a “protect the Church at all costs” mentality among Church leaders, which leads to a sheltering system that enables offenders to abuse their victims over and over again without consequence.  Heartbreaking and thrilling, WIVES AND SISTERS will keep readers firmly on the edge of their seat.

Riviting - that's all I can say.

Saved by the 5 year old...again

As a parent, have you ever had that feeling that you should just let your kid do something, and then it turns out you are really, really glad you did? I have had several of these 'feelings' with my son, but never more powerful than last night.

Last night I was scheduled to be on the evening news. My son was so excited that he couldn't sleep. We had agreed that if he went and got a few hours of sleep, we would wake him up for the news. Well, after he got up for the third time wanting to know if it was ten, I went against my husbands wishes and let him stay up. I figured it wouldn't hurt and he wasn't going to sleep anyway, so he might as well lay downstairs with us.

Good thing he did. The baseball game we were watching finished early enough that they had time to air a rerun of "Everybody Loves Raymond." My husband was snoring before the end of the baseball game, and I quickly followed. I woke up once during Raymond, but other than that, I was out.

I was awakened by my son going "Mom, there you are!" I was panicked - what if I had slept through my TV bit? How bad would that suck, especially after my husband and I joked about it?

Luckily, my son had seen a teaser (one of two they did - yay!) and I did not sleep through the news. I thought it was nice that he was totally quiet the entire time we slept until the news began. Just goes to show that you sometimes need to go with what your kids want - it may well be worth it!

I'm such a celebrity...

In my own mind, anyways.

The article came out on Tuesday and the fanfare was realy cool. I helped create the fanfare by emailing everyone I could think of to tell them to look at the article, but it was cool nonetheless.

When it came out, I went through the entire day wondering "Are people looking at me, wondering if they DID just see me in the paper?"

I don't think it works that way. I mean, the people who know me and didn't know it was coming out (and those number were few - I have a very big mouth), thought it was neat to open their paper and see me and the kids.

I had several people tell me that it didn't look like me at all. Still not sure how to take that one. It is pretty neat that it happened. I would like it to happen much more often, so we will see.

Something else came out of it - I will be on the news! My local station came out on Friday and the segment will be airing on Monday night. I was SO nervous!!! I can usually stay pretty calm about these types of things, but I seriously thought I was going to throw up, pass out or both.

It was really fun. The kids weren't nearly as into it as they were with the newspaper - I think the big camera threw them off. Nevertheless, it was a pretty cool think to experience.

So, hopefully later today I will be off to buy an outfit for my launch party. I have a feeling that it is going to be a little bigger than I anticipated, especially if the news airs the info about the launch.

We shall see. :)

MWTR tour stop...

This week's Mom Writers Talk Radio tour stop features Rachel Hamman, author of Bye-Bye Boardroom: Confessions of a New Breed of Stay-At-Home Moms.

Now, obviously this is a topic very near and dear to my heart, so I was anxious to see what the book is about.

Summary:

Author Rachel Hamman takes a comical and candid look at the transition high-powered women take when they make the leap from corporate Americato carpool.   The author chronicles the growing trend of successful business women who are trading in their briefcases for diaper bags, after experiencing first hand the surprising changes it brought into her own life.

Bye-Bye Boardroom, written in diary format, provides insights into the hearts and minds of almost 30 women who left the comfort of corner offices for the chaotic and most challenging positions of their lives – becoming full-time, stay-at-home moms. Bye-Bye Boardroom enables women considering leaving a career to be full-time mothers to catch a glimpse of what is in store for them and how to cope with the change. Women who are stay-at-home moms (whether full or part time) will be entertained by the tales of other women like themselves and realize that they are not alone in this journey.

About the author:

Rachel lives in Orlando, Florida and raises two very busy kids.  In her former life, she spent 6 years as an Assistant Vice President at Merrill Lynch, where she advised clients on more than $250,000 million in investments. She also co-founded The Golden Rule Foundation, an in-school, character-building children’s charity. (see attached for additional details or visit: www.RachelHamman.com )

Sounds like a great companion to Domestically Challenged, don't you think? ;)

Here's some shameless self promo!

I am so excited!!

I am supposed to be tired from staying up WAY too late on tax day, but I am in my local paper today and the article ROCKS!!! They even put the cover of my book on the front page of the paper.

Here's the link:  http://www.eastvalleytribune.com/index.php?sty=63519

If you go and read it, can you please, please, pretty please come back and leave me a comment on what you thought? Please? Don't make me beg. Cause I will if I have to. LOL

An Easter topped off by the fire department and paramedics

This is a continuation of my weekend post. This is the not so fun part. I normally try to write something mildly amusing, but lately circumstance hasn't allowed that.

For Easter today, we went over to my husbands grandparents house. They have lived in their house for over 45 years. We don't always make it out there, so we made a point of it today.

There are only 3 great-grandchildren on this side of the family - our two kids and one other little girl.

Well, today she was playing with my son and they were actually getting along pretty well. We had already opened gifts (It was the grandfather's bday as well) and were trying to keep the kids entertained. My son and the other girl were playing with a ball of Silly Putty.

They were chasing it around when the unthinkable happened. The girl tripped and went head first through the sliding glass door. It all happened so fast. I saw her trip, go through the glass, get up bleeding and come back through the door.

I must have screamed and that paired with the horrendous sound of the glass exploding brought everyone in the room very quickly. Come to think of it, it could have been the girl and her screaming.

I saw her when she came back through the glass. She had a HUGE gash on her shoulder and her face. I grabbed my daughter and ran. My son ran into the other room as soon as it happened. Unfortunately, he still saw everything.

From this point on, I think I was in a little bit of shock. I heard her screaming, I remember wondering what the hell was taking them so long to call the paramedics and keeping my son calm. He has a tendency to overreact and take things very seriously, so I was VERY concerned about how he would be.

Needless to say, the paramedics arrived but she was stabilized by this time. Luckily, hubby's grandmother and her sister are both nurses, so they were able to stop the bleeding and get the lacerations closed up.

After the girl was taken to the hospital, I took my son to see that the firefighter's were cleaning up the glass. Apparently when something like this happens, the firefighters take care of cleaning up so that no one else cut themselves on the glass. I mentioned to the FF that my son was really upset, so one of the FF's  took my son to look at the firetruck. He got to sit in the drivers seat, the back seat, look at the maps and even put on a hat.

This is an example of someone going above and beyond the regular call of duty.

Anyway. At this point, my son was sitting with my FIL trembling and crying. I was crying becasue 1. that was a horrific thing to see and 2. my son had to see it. I can handle my nightmares - I don't want him to have any. He was so scared.

We left shortly thereafter, after a lot of the remaining relatives helping to distract him from the terrible day.

When we came home, we let him play several hours of GameCube. It was the least we could do and he needed the distraction. Now that it's almost bedtime, he is starting to think again. He already doesn't want to go to bed.

Update on the girl - its not good. As of my writing this, she has not had treatment yet. She has already been to two different hospitals, and the attending plastic surgeon told the ER that he wouldn't come in for at least another 5 hours. 5 more hours?!?!?! This is a 7 year old girl with multiple lacerations who is in SHOCK for crying out loud. She has had NO painkillers and is still wearing the original tape that she had when she left the house. UPDATE**- This was inaccurate info - the Plastic Surgeon was in another surgery, so he got there as soon as he could. Thank goodness.

This is the state of healthcare in America. Where a 7 year old girl with her entire nose cut open can't even get the help she needs.

She will be scarred for the rest of her life. The gash on her shoulder may require PT it's so deep. She needs the gash on her nose closed up - it has already been 5+ hours. The chance of it scarring is now almost certain.

Then I think - what if that had been my child? What if it had been my son who crashed through the door? What if the glass had sliced her throat? What if it had punctured her? What if it had gone through her eye? What if he had been sliced open? I can't even handle the what if's.

So many what if's. They weren't even rough housing. She went for the ball and tripped and fell through the door. I keep thinking that I should have stopped them, but they weren't rough housing at all. I am such a paranoid, over protective parent. I NEVER let my kids do anything that might even have a remote chance of sustaining an injury.

I don't want them to think that my son pushed her or that I wasn't watching them. I was and he didn't. I don't think my son feels like he had anything to do with it, it's just that he witnessed it. It was a very disturbing thing to see.

GCC tour stop...E. Lockhart

This GCC Tour Stop features author E. Lockhart. Lockhart is the author of Fly on the Wall: How One Girl Saw Everything.

Synopsis:

Fly on the Wall: How One Girl Saw Everything?is?about a girl called Gretchen Kaufman Yee who goes to a wacked-out art school in New York City. She's a collector of plastic Chinese food and odd figurines, a passionate comic-book artist, and a crazy Spider-man fanatic. She's also completely freaked out by the opposite sex -- in particular, the Art Rats, a group of guys in her drawing concentration. One day, she wishes she could be "a fly on the wall of the boys' locker room," just to find out what the heck guys really talk about.
And the next thing she knows... she is.
A fly.
On the wall of the locker room.?

Could you imagine what it would be like to be a fly on the wall? Where would you pick? For me, it would depend on my mood. I wouldn't mind hearing the inside of the editors room at a publishing house. Or maybe in the locker room of a sporting event after a game to hear what they really say.

Here is more about E. Lockhart:

I have had nine official boyfriends, if you count the boy who asked me to go with him at a 7th grade dance and then basically never talked to me again. I have never been on a sports team of any kind and got excused from gym class by going to ballet lessons. I have a tattoo, cut my own hair, and have worn the same perfume since high school (Kiehl's Chinese Flowers). In my office are two Betty & Veronica dolls, a photo of a particularly fat bull dog, an official business card from “Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective”, and the 1920s flapper dress I wore to the prom.

And to top it off, I really like this idea...

1. I have wanted to be a writer since I was eight years old.
2. I wrote two novels in third grade.
3. I was the fastest typist in my 8th-grade typing class. We learned on manual typewriters.
4. Now I write everything on computer, sometimes with my eyes closed.
5. Favorite lipsticks: MAC Carnal. Bobbi Brown Petal gloss. Bobbi Brown Cherry. Clinique Black Honey.
6. Movie star crushes: Taye Diggs. Ben Chaplin.
7. First car: a white 1964 Volvo with a push-button starter.
8. I have never been on a weight-loss diet. But:
9. I am a vegetarian and for a number of years ate a vegan diet (no animal products whatsoever) because I object to the way animals are treated in the meat and dairy industries. I will probably go back to eating vegan again someday, but for now:
10. My favorite ice cream is Häagen Dazs dolce de leche.
11. I pet a sting-ray once.
12. I like wax museums.
13. I used to like roller coasters, but now I'm scared of them. Even so:
14. I love amusement parks. My favorite ride of all time is Pirates of the Caribbean.
15. I used to cry after my fiction writing class in college, because the criticism was so harsh.
16. The teacher of that class was so bored by my work he admitted to me he didn't even read the final drafts of my stories.
17. I have never kept a journal for more than a couple days. I like to write for an audience, even if it's only an imaginary one.
18. My advice to aspiring writers: read, read, read. Read the great novelists, especially. Try Great Expectations. Pride and Prejudice. Jane Eyre.
19. More (contradictory!) advice: follow your reading bliss. Gnaw your way through the local library's sci-fi or romance collection, if that's what does it for you.
20. I am difficult to recognize. Despite a large and unusual tattoo, people often forget they've met me, or tell me I look very different from the last time they saw me.
21. My first name was the most popular name for American baby girls in the year 2003.

(this list is an idea I got from a very cool interview with Libba Bray, author of A Great and Terrible Beauty)

Sloths, a bunny and an epileptic goat...

This could also be called my second longest blog post ever. I mean it.

Here goes...

Sloths:

We had a great start to the weekend. Hubby and I had planned to take the kids to see Ice Age 2 on Friday night. We were a little extra delayed, since we wanted to go look at houses AGAIN, so we ended up being at the theater with the Friday night crowd. This translates to idiotic hormonal teenagers who think they are cool.

Before we even began the trek into the theater, we had a situation. While walking through the parking lot, some jackass non-paying attention person almost hit our son with his car. My husband and I are always overprotective of our kids, but this jackass guy cut the corner too close and came within about a foot of our first born child. Needless to say, my husband handed off the child and proceeded to follow the guy to his parking spot.

On one hand, I was thrilled that he was standing up for our kids. On the other, I didn't want him to get into a fight. So, I hustled the kids along to the theater and waited for Dad to return. Only he didn't right away.

To pass the time, I took the kids to stand in line. After 10 minutes had passed, I started to worry. What if my husband was in the process of beating the guy senseless (which technically was impossible, since he already proved he was pretty stupid)? What if the guy had tried standing up to my husband?

Luckily, hubby called me on the cell phone to tell me he was inside buying the tickets and to come in and meet him. Why do they sell tickets inside? And why don't more people buy them inside.

Anyway, we saw the movie, and enjoyed it for the most part. I thought the scary images were a bit overboard, especially since the movie was being marketed to kids. There were also a few extra adult jokes thrown in for good measure, which I normally don't mind, but they were a little too much for my liking too. Let me rephrase that - I liked the jokes, just not in front of my kids.

The Bunny:

This is an obvious one. The Easter Bunny was good to our kids. One came away with an Aquadoodle (affectionately called a Hack-a-doodle by Crazy Hair), a Madagascar Leapster cartridge and a Chicken Little Game Cube game.

I think being the Easter Bunny is more stressful than being Santa. With Santa, you can do everything the night before. With the Easter Bunny you have to get up early enough to hide the eggs (especially since you don't want to have them out all night). How do you know that you are going to wake up early enough? What if the kids wake up during the hide?

It's all too stressful for me.

The Epileptic Goat:

On Saturday, we met my in laws at the zoo. We hadn't taken the kids since before my daughter was born, so we were excited. My son played navigator and led us around the entire zoo. He is a very smart kid and can be quite the know it all, but I have to say that even I was impressed at his skills.

On to the goat - while at the zoo we took the kids into the petting zoo. This is not a favorite of mine - I have no desire to be that close to farm animals. My husband used to live on a farm, so he was all excited. We took our kids around to pet and brush the goats and all I could think about was all the goat poop we were walking in. It was so gross.

As we were leaving we noticed a little boy standing by a goat that hadn't moved since we entered. Suddenly the goat stood up and looked like he was trying to scratch behind his ear with his hind leg, but he just couldn't reach it. Then, the goat started convulsing. The two zoo people sat watching and finally one yelled "Quick - go get Martha!"

At this point the convulsing goat fell forward, hit its head on the ground and rolled down the floor. The sound will stay with me - it sounded like a bowling ball being dropped on the floor.

This was frightening for the kids, so we hurriedly shuffled the kids along as people rushed towards the epileptic goat. I didn't even know goats could BE epileptic.

We seem to have bad luck with animals. One time at our local Renaissance Festival, one of the perigren falcons was doing a dive from like 100 feet, and hit a telephone pole head on. Luckily the bird was ok, but it was alarming to see trainers jumping over people to rush to the aid of one of the best hunting birds alive.

Unfortunately, I have a sad subsequent post, but you have to look at the next one to read how our weekend concluded...

Testing the human limits of stress

I am conducting an experiment to see how much stress a human can undergo before having their head explode.

Not only do I have a book coming out in 3 weeks (ACK!) but I have to work, do the radio show and now we are BUYING A HOUSE!!!

Apparently we didn't have enough going on already. And did I mention that the newspaper is coming out to take pictures for a feature story? Phew.

I know this is a short entry, but I am tired - I will update tomorrow.

Death doesn't discriminate

Today I discovered that a 10 year old boy was murdered, presumably by his own mother. What makes this story even more unbearable is that it happened at my sons school.

I noticed the story on the local news site, but I didn't read it. I don't react well to death. I found out that the student was from my son's school from a very unusual source.

As I was walking back to my truck from dropping my son off at school, I noticed a counselor that I used to teach with walking out the door. I called to him and gave him a quick hug. After the niceties, I asked what he was doing at the elementary school.

He said "Oh, you haven't watched the news, have you?"

I said "I usually don't -- Oh, no. Please don't tell me that this student went here."

He did. My friend was on campus because he is part of the districts crisis team. I was stunned.

It immediately made me flash back to the moment I knew I would become a teacher. I had just put the finishing touches on ruining u sfinancially by trying to become a teacher. I had completed my student teaching (which is unpaid - I think they do that so teacher's appreciate their low salary) and was subbing while looking for somthing consistent until the end of the school year.

I was disappointed at how underappreciated teachers were, and even though I loved it, I was not sure that I wanted to be a part of that lifestyle.

One evening, I returned home from a particularly tough day as a Management Trainee at Enterprise Rent A Car. If you are unfamiliar with this job, you have to have a college degree to do it, and then you learn how to do sales. In the process you also become an alcoholic. I have never drank so much in my life as I did while with ERAC. It was expecially bad since we worked in out of a hotel and had a bar right there with a VERY friendly bartender.

Anyway, one night I got home to a phone call from my cooperating teacher. I could tell she had been crying. She said "I don't know if you can come down to the school, but So and So commited suicide. The kids are pretty broken up and they will have counselors on campus"

I was shocked. I told her I would be there and hung up. I don't know how long I sat there, but it was a while becasue that's how I was when my husband walked in the door from class. As soon as I saw him, I started bawling. I told him what happened and asked if we could go for a drive.

We must have driven around for at least two hours. During the drive, my husband stayed quiet. I sat there and alternated between crying, yelling and retching. I didn't know what to do. How could a Freshman in high school think that there life was that bad? His best friend was in the same class.

I had never dealth with death that close to me. I was lucky enough to have my all of my close relatives with me, until I lost my grandfather last May. I didn't know what to think, say or do.

I went to the school that day with my mind made up. I would go on to be a teacher - the money didn't matter to me. What mattered to me is that I could try to make a difference in the life of child, to maybe help prevent something like this from happening.

All this came back to me when I heard about that poor little boy. What on earth would possess a mom to do this to her own flesh and blood? The newspaper said she was emotionless - how is that possible? I have nightmares about terrible things happening to my kids - this woman did the unthinkable.