Domestically Challenged

What doesn't kill us...

I know that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but honestly, how strong does one need to be? I have no problem when things go awry, but damn - why so many things at once?

Here was my day on Thursday:

1. I was still reeling from the cluster**** that was my daughter's soccer practice. In fact, I am so upset about it, it is an off limits topic in my house.

2. I went to put on a bracelet (which I never do) thinking it would be a nice touch. And it was, until it snapped, sending little black beads and rocks EVERYWHERE.

3. I was running a few extra minutes late to work. When I got my daughter to her preschool (which is right on the campus where I teach) she was too late for breakfast. Which meant that she had to come to my first hour with me and eat a Pop Tart.

4. I took my first hour to the computer lab and there were two other classes there. I was supposed to take my class second hour, not first. I was lucky in the fact that the other computer lab only had one class in it and it was small, so they let us stay, but talk about embarrassed.

5. Then I had to take The Menace back to preschool and she was just feisty and obstinate for the entire walk.

6. I kept leaving stuff in my classroom and made about 75 trips between the labs and the room. I ended up having nachos for lunch - they seem to be my comfort food. Which is bad.

Then I had too much soda. Then I got home and my house was smelly. Then my husband was late for his practice, so I had to start it. That was actually fun. Then we had pizza for dinner - so NOT healthy. I mean, for Christ's sake - why all that in one day? And why me?

By the end of the night all I wanted was a drink, till I remembered I can't drink because I am allergic. How's THAT for being punished?!

What have I gotten myself into...

Today, I am embarking on an adventure. I feel somewhat prepared, but I still have the nervous feeling down in the pit of my wobbly belly. My stress inducer of choice?

Coaching soccer. And not just any soccer. 3 year old soccer. Yup. Certify me as crazy, because beginning today, I am the proud coach of 9 3 year olds. I have plenty of coaching experience - I've coached cheer, volleyball and basketball for a total of 11 years coaching experience.

But this is SO different. For one, my daughter is on the team. That's right, the Menace will now have to follow my directions with the added pressure of other parents watching. How scary is that? Two, I've never played soccer. Ever. Unless you count high school PE class, which would be many, many years ago and I don't care to count them at the moment. The good news is that 3 year olds don't really play soccer anyways. They run around and look cute, so I should be ok.

I am SO excited to be coaching again, but the thought of my daughter being on the team terrifies me. I hope she listens, and if she doesn't, I hope my hubby helps. I will post an update after practice...wish me luck!

UPDATE:

Well, I said I would update after practice and it's now Saturday morning. It took me almost 3 full days to get over the pain.

I wanted to update you on Wednesday, but I was lying in the fetal position bawling like a big, fat baby. Practice was...um, bad. Not just bad, it sucked. It didn't just suck - I would have been better trying to get snakes to use forks or trying to get politicians to be pure and honest. Yes, it was THAT BAD.

What made me the most mad was that I didn't like feeling like I couldn't handle it. That really pissed me off. Not to mention the fact that my daughter spent most of the practice throwing little bitchy temper tantrums and screaming like a banshee. So. Not. Fun.

Now, I would have just thought that maybe I had lost my touch and I shouldn't have coached, but I helped my husband with his practice (and even ran the first half of practice) and I did good. I had fun. The kids could stand in a line.

For my practice most of the kids didn't have a ball. I had extras, not that it mattered. I couldn't get them to do ANYTHING related to ordered chaos. Hubby told me that I was expecting too much. Is it expecting too much to have kids standing in the general vicinity of the practice field, as opposed to in the rocks? Apparently so. Sigh.

Now that I have had a few days to regroup, I need to work on a plan. A plan to get at least half the team to kick a ball in the general direction of the goal. A plan to prevent them from wrestling on the field or ...Ok, maybe I AM expecting too much. I just hope we aren't embarrassed when we get out there. I want the parents to be happy with their kids and I want the kids to have fun. That's it. And maybe have the kids run in the same direction as the ball.

Thoughts on writing

So, at the moment I am working on my second book and a screenplay that I am co writing with my husband.

I was looking a a screenwriting book and found a great quote about writing:

"Discipline is what separates a writer from someone who likes to write."

That is SO true. Having one book under my belt, and taking some time away from writing recently, I can honestly say that the majority of effort that comes with writing a book is actually sitting down and getting it done. Never mind the stress of wondering if what you are writing is crap, the hardest part is actually finishing. It's really, really hard to sit down in front of a computer when all you want to do is go sit with your kids or lounge on the couch and watch a movie. You may have to give up some sleep on the weekends or hole up in your office or the library or Barnes and Noble and write, when you would rather socialize.

But you know what? When that book comes out and someone you love looks at you with wonder because they can find something with your name in the bookstore, it's totally worth it. My moment came shortly after my book came out and my son told his teachers that his mom was an author. He was so proud of me that it made my entire lifetime.

Now, even a year later, he is still asking to use bookmarks with my book on them so he can show them off. The moral of the story is this - if you want to be a writer, you need to write. Turn off the TV, don't surf the net, don't answer your phone. Just write. Eventually you will have pages, then chapters, and then, at some magical point you will have a book. It may not be good (yet), but you can still say you did it. And that makes it all worth it.

Just one of those days

So, today started out really, really good. I got up on time, got the bambinos ready, got the know it all to chess class 5 minutes early and got to work in a very timely manner. Then all hell broke loose.

While in the parking lot, I got the menace out of the car. Someone tried to whip into the parking spot next to me, so I, being the conscientious mother that I am, grabbed my daughter and moved to the back of the vehicle, thus saving her from bodily harm.

The problem? Well, you see, when I get out of my car each morning, I open my daughter's car door, lock the doors, put my keys in my purse *so I don't lock them in the car* and then get her out of the car, grab my stuff and go. Today, however, I put the keys in my purse, grabbed my daughter while hurling her out of the way of a parking car, and shut the door. With. The. Keys. Inside. I felt like such an ass. I have never, ever locked my keys in my car. I have taken pride in the fact that this was one dorky club that I wasn't a member of. Until today.

Many phone calls later, my husband came to rescue me. He never ceases to amaze me with his ingenuity. He took a "snake" (some sort of cord thing that is used to pull wires through pipe), grabbed my purse through my cracked window, and then I was able to pull my keys out of my purse via my Fry's shopper card. Isn't he great?

So, now that I have joined the ranks of the stranded motorists before me, at least I can cling to my excuse - it wasn't my fault!

Magic erasers not magic enough

So, over the weekend, while I was fighting off whatever new crappy bug I have, my daughter decided to color on her walls. My son NEVER did anything remotely close to this, so it's all new to me. My son came to me as we were getting ready to go to the mall and told me that The Menace was coloring on the walls.

What he failed to mention was that it was with permanent marker. Green permanent marker.

I know Magic Erasers are supposed to magically clean most everything, but I don't think it extends to walls, doors, feet, bed sheets or any of the other places The Menace tagged. I'm sure this is all normal behavior for a "spirited" 3 year old, but quite frankly, normal is overrated.

I Missed You Guys!!! Now, Let Me Explain...

So, I have been away for a while, and before I can legitimately get back into the blogging habit over here, I felt I owed you all an explanation. At this point, there may only be one or two of you left, but so be it.

Last year, I made the very tough decision to return to teaching. I had been working from home for over two years and after burning the candle from both ends and then some, decided that if I was going to work that hard, it might as well be at teaching. This would give me several things:

• Regular start and stop times (no more working every evening till 11 or 12pm)
• Regular vacation time
• Time to myself - I didn't get this at all because my schedule was too tight

Once I made the decision, the real issues began. My first issue was childcare. I couldn't find someone that I was totally comfortable with. My second issue was my kids health - my son got sick on the 3rd day of school and severely broke his arm the third week of school. Then there was my health. In 4 months time, I had the following:

• mono
• pneumonia
• sinus infections (4)
• strep throat (2)
• ear infections (4 - 8 if you count both ears)

As you can imagine, this led to many, many days off. Then came the heart problems. I went to my regular doctor for a racing heart rate and ended up at the cardiologists office with people 40 years older than me. Nothing wakes you up like being the only person who wasn't alive in the Nixon era in the doctor's office.

My resting heart rate was over 110 BPM. Regular rate is 60-80. So this was a problem.

There were some days that I thought the only way to save my life was to quit my teaching job. I wasn't having fun, I was tired all the time and my life generally sucked. Then Christmas came, then our trip to Puerto Rico (which was FAB!) and I decided I could do one of two things - I could still be pissed off that I gave up being an at home mom by choice or I could find a way to make the best of it. I needed to change my perspective.

So, I got happier, made different child care arrangements that worked out wonderfully for me and voila! I was happy again.

Then there is the issue of my book. You see, I wrote a book for at home moms. Going back to work was a very difficult decision for me, because I wondered if I could promote a book that had a situation different than mine. I know deep, deep down that it is possible and people do it all the time, but for some reason this has really bothered me.

I felt like a fraud. Or, more accurately, I thought others would think I was a fraud.

I thought about writing in the blog all the time. But I just couldn't do it. I gave up all of my column writing, despite the fact that it took me 2 years to get where I was (which wasn't very far, but still). I didn't write anything for several months. I just didn't feel it in me. I had to work on being happy with my new life first. I had to be ok with getting up at the crack of dawn's ass to get to work on time. I still don't even have a regular alarm clock. I am using a cell phone - that's how resistant I've been.

I also needed to enjoy my job again. I needed to have fun with my students and enjoy spreading knowledge. Despite how foo-foo-y it sounds, I am NOT one of THOSE teachers, who thinks that teens are like sponges and blah, blah, blah. Teens can be total PIA's, but they can also be funny and immature. And teaching allows me to act immature on a daily basis - it's perfect for me!

Then I needed to enjoy my family. I needed to veg on the couch with my husband when the kids went to bed. I needed to veg on the couch for my own sanity. I burned myself out by overworking, over thinking and being sick for 4 months.

I needed to be happy with myself. Despite what I may have told myself, I did not know that my first semester back to teaching would almost kill me - and I'm not being overly dramatic here.

Once I did all of this, I needed to reevaluate. I have had a lot of doubts about my writing skills, despite the fact that I have a book out. I needed to get over that.

Now, here I am.

I have decided, after lots of thinking and pondering, that I miss writing. I miss the identity I have created for myself, even if it's still small. Yes, I will now have to work hard to re-establish myself as a writer and I will have to practice my craft to regain and build my skills, but so be it. I'm in a much better place now. :)

So, now I am working on trying to read 100 books this year, thinking about a second edition of my book, coaching soccer and teaching. I am also working on being at peace with where I am at. I know they say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So, if it almost kills us, what does that count for?